在日常的学习、工作、生活中,肯定对各类范文都很熟悉吧。相信许多人会觉得范文很难写?下面我给大家整理了一些优秀范文,希望能够帮助到大家,我们一起来看一看吧。
英语剧本人版短剧幽默篇一
cast
erinchang: robber
debbytsai: policeofficer
serrinlee: betelnutgirl
aleczhao: ghoststudent
leolee: taxidriver
yi-lingchen: pregnantwoman
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summary
thisstorytalksaboutapoortaxidriver,tommy,,,,,hecarriesaghoststudent.
tommy: hello,ouldyouliketogo?
betelnutgirl: hi!tommy.i’mgoingtochong-shannorthroad,please.
tommy: ok,chong-shannorthroad,?irememberthere’,areyousureyou’regoingtochong-shannorthroad?
betelnutgirl: um,i’willrememberwhereitislater.
betelnutgirl: howoldareyou?areyoumarried?you’reprobablynotmarriedsinceyou’aveagirlfriend?
tommy: um…miss,anttohavealook?
betelnutgirl: oh!ay,don’tyoufeeltiredafterdrivingalldaylong?maybeicanhelpyourelax.
tommy: what…whatdoyouwanttodo?takeyourhandsoffmeori’llscream!
betelnutgirl: ididnothing!ecar,iwanttogetoff.
tommy: (relived)great!thetotalis155dollars,thankyou.
betelnutgirl: um!takeit!
pregnantwoman: hey!taxi!
pregnantwoman: realaverykindman.
tommy: whereareyougoing?
pregnantwoman: hospital,please.
tommy: you’regoingtotheprenatalcheckup,right?itmustbeverytiringcarryingababy.
pregnantwoman: ’salmostninemonths.
tommy: tulations.
pregnantwoman: thankyou.
pregnantwoman: (screaming)
tommy: areyouok?
pregnantwoman: (screaming)
tommy: isittimenow?areyougoingtodeliveryourbabynow?wn.
pregnantwoman: (screaming)
tommy: we’realmostthere.
pregnantwoman: (screaming)
tommy: hereweare.
pregnantwoman: areweatthehospital?well,howmuchisit?
tommy: aren’tyougoingintolabor?
pregnantwoman: me?areyoukidding?it’sstillalongtimebeforetheexpecteddateofchildbirth.
tommy: what?well,whatwereyoujustdoing?
pregnantwoman: oh,iwasjustpracticing!thisismyfirsttimetohaveababy,cemakesperfect!ineedtobereadysoitwillgosmoothly.
tommy: practice!allright…well,thetotalisonehundredtwentydollars.
tommy: thiswomanwassostrange!ithoughtshewasgoingtodeliverthebabyinmycar!
robber: getoutofhere,quickly!
tommy: astrangepregnantwomanjustgotoffmycarandnowherecomesarobber.
tommy: wheredoyouwanttogo?
robber: shutup!justdrive!
tommy: hey…ful,there’snoeyeinbullets.
robber: shutup!justdriveyourcar.
tommy: ok!ok!youaretheboss.
robber: hum…reonmyneck,thatwouldbenice.
tommy: oh…com…comeon,don’rytolooktoughbywearingit.
robber: stopnonsense!!don’ttreatmelikeafool,iwarnyou!iwillshootyou!
tommy: ok!ok!hissealed.
robber: ....idon’twanttodothis…really…butihave6brothers,avetosellchewinggums,seofall,myhusbandjustgotoutofthejail…ireallyhavenochoice.
tommy: don’tbesosad….hereistissue.
robber: emeyourgoldnecklace!hurryup!doyouwanttoeatbullets!!
tommy: but…but…but….
robber: justhandittomeori’llbecomeareallybadguy!!
tommy: idon’twanttodieyet.
thepolice: beep~beep~stopthecar.
tommy: oh!thankgod!iamsafenow!hey,cop,arobberwantstorobmeand….
policeofficer: showmeyourlicenseandregistration.
tommy: but…sir.…igotarobberinmyback….
policeofficer: ionlywatchoutfortraffic!thepublicsecurityisnotmybusiness.
tommy: notyourbusiness?but…
policeofficer: here’espeeding.
tommy: butigotarobberinmycar!shetoldmeificouldn’tdrivefastenough,she’dshootme.
policeofficer: andwhereistherobber?
tommy: justrightover….what!!she’sgone;shewasherejustnow….
policeofficer: see….yourlieisstupid…remembertotaketheticket.
tommy: sir!sir!
tommy: i’snotmyday!oh,no!howdidicometothismiddle-of-nowhere?someone’ldtakeataxiinthisstrangeplace?
tommy: hello!oyouwanttogo?ghoststudent:tomyhome,please.
tommy: um…canyousayitmoreclearly?idon’tknowwhereyourhomeis.
ghoststudent: oh,myhomeislocatedonta-dumountain.
tommy: …it’sanunusualplacetolive.
ghoststudent: ’storsalllivedhere.
tommy: oh!you’velivedhereforalongtime,right?
ghoststudent: that’sright.
tommy: hereweare,butidon’ay,it’ssodarkhere.
ghoststudent: don’’reinthemountain.
tommy: areyousureyourhomeishere?
ghoststudent: hisit?
tommy: um…thetotalis100dollars.
ghoststudent: ionlyhavea500dollarsbill.
tommy: that’sok,icangiveyouchange.
ghoststudent: thereyougo.
tommy: um...what’sthis?
ghoststudent: money.
tommy: but...wheredidhego?oh,no!…thisis…ghostmoney…(screaming)
英语剧本人版短剧幽默篇二
刘兰芝lunch(lforshort)
焦母johnny’smother(jmforshort)
刘母lunch’smother(lmforshort)
太守之子mayor’sson(msforshort)
强盗burglars(abandc)
prologue序幕
(j作被打状跑上台,内砸出一卷纸筒,j被打中,狼狈不堪)
j:everybodysaysthati’mhenpecked,butinfact,i’mastrongtiger,(小声)whilemy
wifeiswusong.
译:人人都说我怕老婆,实际上我是老虎,(小声)我妻子是武松。
(指着上台处的门大声道)i’mnotafraidofyou!
译:我才不怕你呢!
(内砸出一脸盆,j接住当成盾牌护着头)then,i’mafraidofwhom!raverthanme,isnot!havingawifelikethisisjustlikelivinginthehell!
译:谁怕谁啊!在邻里中,我妻子是最有名气的。她比我勇敢、比我聪明、比我强壮。我也不在乎这些。我只觉得她该对我温柔些,但是她却不懂温柔!有这样的太太就像活在地狱中啊!
(内又砸出一卷纸筒,击中j)
mygod!whocanhelpme?(下)
译:我的天!谁来救救我啊?
act1第一幕
(序幕结束时,jm作偷听状)
jm(拄拐棍上):ican!
(对门内)lunch!lunch!whereareyou?
l(扎着围裙,拿着锅铲,从门内跳出来):i’mhere!what’sup,mum?
jm:ihavetoldyouagainandagainthatyoushouldcallme“mymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmotherinlaw”.
l:beautifulgracefulanddearestmother-in-law,what’sup?
jm:ebeensorude,sobrusque,so
lazy……
l:but……
jm:neverinterruptme!
l:neverinterruptme!sinceimarriedyourson,thatterriblejohnny,ihavebeenworkinghardall
daylong,aisedtensofthousandsofpigsandducksandchicken
and……
jm:butallthoseyouhavedonearenotasvaluableasagrandson!
l(生气地挥动着锅铲):oh,youwantagrandson,don’tyou?(开始解围裙)goandaskyourson.i’mleaving!(扯下围裙,扔在jm的脸上,下)
act2
(lm坐在台上打毛线,l拿着锅铲上)
l:mum,i’mback!
lm:youareback?why?whathappened?
l:iwaskickedoutbymymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmother–in-law.
lm(惊讶,但随即露出幸灾乐祸的神情):see!ihavealreadytoldyou!whenyouinsistedon
marryingthatterriblejohnny,itoldyouthatheisuglytupidandpoor,butyoudidnotlisten
yourself……
l:but,mum……
lm:neverinterruptme!
l:mum,i’anttotellyouthatyouarealwaysrightok?and
i’llmarrywhomeveryouwantmeto.
lm(大喜):nicegirl!justnow,imetthemayor’:“ifyourdaughter
haven’tbeenmarried,ireallyreallywanttomarryher!”nowyouarefreeagain,i’llgo
andtellhim.(下)
l(惊愕):what?themayor’sson?themostfamousplayboyintheneighbor-hood?(手中的锅
铲掉在地上)whatasillythingihavedone!(下)
act3
(j睡眼惺忪上)
j(边走边道):lunch!lunch!wherearemysocks?
(走了几步,在地上捡起袜子)heretheyare!(闻一下)er!howsmelly!theyarestilldirty!
(突然想起)lunchhasgone!ihavetowashthemmyself.
(他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起来)oh,i’msohungry!butthere’snobreakfast!(捡起地上的围
裙)thisiswhatlunchalwayswears!imisshersomuch,andherexcellentcookingskill!now
ocookformymotherandmyself.
jm(上):where’smybreakfast?where’slunch?hasn’tshegotupyet?
j:mum,can’tyouremember?lunchhasgone!
jm(沉吟片刻):well,totellyouthetruthjohnny,sanice
girl,goandtakeherback!
j(立正敬礼):yesmadam!
act4
(j开心地走着,忽然跳出来三个强盗)
a:heyyou!stopandlistentous!
theroadisbuiltbyme!(抬脚重重地踩在一块大石头上)
b:andiplantedonetree!(亦抬脚踩在同一块石头上)
c:ifyouwanttogobythisstreet---(欲踩石头,但踩到了a的脚)
ab&c:giveusallyourmoney!
j(搜遍了每一个口袋,掏出1角硬币):is1maoenough?
(三强盗晕倒状,接着三人聚在一边商量)
a:whatbadluck!thisguyisbroken!
b:ifwecannotrobanymoneytoday,wewillhavenotthingtoeattonight!
c:iheardthatthemayor’oand
robthewedding!
a&b:goodidea!
j(惊讶):what?what?lunchisgoingtogetmarried?it’simpossible!
ab&c:why?aprettygirlandarichman,whatagoodcouple!
j:butlunchismywife!wehaven’tgotspanorcedyet!
(突然有了主意)i’vegotanidea!youaregoingtorobthewedding,don’tyou?i’llgo
ethemoneyanditakethebride.
b:haveyougotanyexperience?
j:’vegotthis!(j脱下鞋子从里面摸出一张支票,上书$1,000,000)
act5
(转眼已到了婚礼之期.ms意气风发用红绸牵着新娘上,j盖着红盖头极不情愿地被拉上台)
(j和三强盗跃至台中)
abc&j:heyyou!stopandlistentous!
a:theroadisbuiltbyme!
b:andiplantedonetree.
c:ifyouwanttogobythisstreet---
j:giveusallyourmoney!
(l听到j的声音,掀起了盖头)
l(惊喜万分):johnny!(不顾一切地飞奔到j的身边并躲到了的身后)
(ms大怒,挥拳向j打来.j矮身一躲,ms打中了j身后的l,l晕倒)
j(火冒三丈):howdareyoubeatmywife!(挥拳向ms冲去)
(j与ms混战,jm上,以拐杖击晕ms)
(j将ms胸前的新郎标志扯下戴在自己胸前)
j(扶起l,关切地问):honey,howareyou?
l(哭状):ihurtalot!
j:don’tcrybaby.i’llgoandfetchthemedicine.(下)
l(起身去追):waitforme!(跑下)
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